I screamed like a bird that soars across the horizon. And all eyes were on me and I was dying in the pain that engulfed me and swallowed me whole. If only I could die I would be happy. Laying eyes on my son erased the pain and closed the wounds on my face and body, it breathed new life into me and assured me that our souls are real, and that our pain however intolerable is fleeting and not in vain. I was afraid to touch him as if he were made out of cotton candy and my fingers could reshape him and turn him into nothing but so much sugar from which he was made. My blood marked his body, proving that he was mine. My flesh, my blood, a new life born of my womb. A new soul to sprout wings and fly if only I could teach him. Suddenly all my fears and inadequacies as a mother seemed very real. God trusts us with this great task and I felt so much less than worthy. God my son…my son… Years later I could not begin to recall the fervor with which those brief shards of time were lived and wept. I glanced down at the crumpled note in the palm of my hand the concierge has brought to me only moments before. La Fay~ I am truly sorry I will not be able to meet you. Please understand… I shivered slightly in my shirt, not bothering to dress properly, I had slipped a mans simple white cotton button-up shirt on, barely skimming my bottom, I folded my arms across my chest as I looked out into the night. Tears of frustration so close, I didn’t bother to read the note a second time through…you weren’t coming. Walking back to my open door, I passed the private hot tub off the terrace, thinking of how nice it would have been to share that with you. I walked to the mini bar refrigerator, retrieved a bottle of champagne that was chilling there, tossing the note on the plush white couch and walked back into the night. Sliding one long nail into the foil around the head of the bottle working the wrapping off, walking past the hammock for two nestled in-between two palm trees 20 feet from.
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